Good Philopsophy.....

Good Philopsophy

1. EVERY ONE  KNOWS  ABOUT  ALEXANDER  GRRAHAMBELL  WHO  INVENTED  PHONES, BUT  HE  NEVER  MADE  A  CALL  TO  HIS  FAMILY.  BECAUSE HIS WIFE  AND DAUGHTER  WERE  DEAF.  THAT'S LIFE"LIVE FOR OTHERS". 
 
2.  THE   WORST  IN  LIFE  IS  "ATTACHMENT " ITS   HURT  WHEN  YOU  LOSE  IT. THE   BEST  THING  IN  LIFE  IS " LONELINESS "  BECAUSE  IT  TEACHES  YOU EVERYTHING  AND  WHEN  YOU  LOSE  IT.  YOU  GET EVERYTHING. 
 
3.  LIFE  IS  NOT  ABOUT  THE  PEOPLE  WHO  ACT  TRUE TO  YOUR  FACE ........ ITS  ABOUT  THE  PEOPLE  WHO  REMAIN  TRUE  BEHIND  YOUR  BACK . 
 
4.  EGG  BROKEN  FROM  OUTSIDE  FORCE........A  LIFE ENDS  . IF  AN  EGG  BREAKS  FROM  WITHIN.......LIFE  BEGINS .GREAT   THINGS  ALWAYS  BEGAN  FROM   WITHIN . 
 
5.  ITS  BETTER  TO  LOSE  YOUR  EGO  TO  THE  ONE  YOU   LOVE. THEN  TO  LOSE  THE   ONE  YOU  LOVE ....... BECAUSE  OF   EGO . 
 
6.   A  RELATIONSHIP  DOESN'T  SHINE  BY  JUST  SHAKING  HANDS  ON  BEST  TIME. BUT  IT  BLOSSOMS  BY  HOLDING  FIRMLY    IN  CRITICAL  SITUATION  . 
 
7. HEATED GOLD BECOMES ORNAMENTS. BETTED  COPPER  BECOMES  WIRES. DEPLETED  STONE  BECOMES  STATUE. SO  THE  MORE PAIN  YOU  GET  IN  YOUR  LIFE  YOU  BECOME MORE  VALUABLE. 
   
8.  WHEN  YOU  TRUST  SOMEONE  TRUST  HIM  COMPLETELY  WITHOUT  ANY  DOUBT...............  AT  THE  END  YOU  WOULD  GET  ONE  OF   THE  TWO :  EITHER  A  LESSON  FOR  YOUR  LIFE  OR  A   VERY  GOOD  PERSON .  
 

9. WHY  WE  HAVE  SO  MANY  TEMPLES   , IF  GOD  IS  EVERYWHERE ? A   WISE  MAN  SAID  : AIR   IS  EVERYWHERE , BUT   WE   STILL  NEED  A  FAN   TO  FEEL  IT .

 

 

 

 

 

Monkey & Hat Seller.............INTESTING READ FULLY

Here was once a hat-seller who passed by a forest on his way back from the market. The weather was very hot and so he decided to take a nap under one of the trees, so he left his whole basket of hats by the side. A few hours later, he woke up as he heard some sounds. The next thing he realized was that all his hats were gone. He heard some monkeys on the tree and so he looked up. To his surprise, the tree was full of monkeys and they had taken all his hats. The hat-seller sits down and think of how he can get the hats down. He thinks and thinks and starts scratching his head. The next moment, he realized that the monkeys were doing the same action. Next, he took down his own hat and saw the monkeys do exactly the same. An idea came to him, he took his hat and throw it on the floor and the monkeys do that too. So he finally managed to get all his hats back. If you think you have read this before....., read on!!! Fifty years later, his grandson, Jack, also became a hat-seller and had heard this monkey story from his grandfather. One day, just like his grandfather, he passed by the same forest, it was very hot, and he took a nap under the same tree and left the hats on the floor. He woke up and realized that all his hats were gone. He looked up and realized that the monkeys had taken all the hats. He remembered his grand father's words, started scratching his head and the monkeys follows. He took down his hat and fanned himself and again the monkeys followed. Now, very convinced of his grandfather' s idea, JACK threw his hat on the floor but to his surprise, the monkeys still hold on to all the hats. Then one monkey climbed down the tree, grabbed the hat on the floor, gave him a slap and said   "You think only you have a grandfather"

Read it.... its nice :)

 

Change Your Thinking It will take just 37 seconds to read this and change your thinking. ***************************** Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.. Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window. The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside. The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene. One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man could not hear the band - he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words. Days, weeks and months passed. One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away. As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window.. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone. Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed. It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, 'Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.' Epilogue: There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations. Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled. If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy. 'Today is a gift, that is why it is called The Present.' The origin of this letter is unknown . Do not keep this letter. I pray you will forward it to all your friends to whom you wish God's blessings. This will definitely not bring you riches but will allow you to bring a smile on many faces

"The better part of happiness is to wish to be what you are"

 

Old story, Big meaning

 

A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: 'I am blind, please help.' There were only a few coins in the hat. A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words. Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy.. That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, 'Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?' The man said, 'I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way.' What he had written was: 'Today is a beautiful day and I cannot see it.' Do you think the first sign and the second sign were saying the same thing? Of course both signs told people the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind. The second sign told people they were so lucky that they were not blind. Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective? Moral of the Story: Be thankful for what you have. Be creative. Be innovative. Think differently and positively. Invite others towards good with wisdom. Live life with no excuse and love with no regrets. When life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile. Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear. Keep the faith and drop the fear. Great men say, 'Life has to be an incessant process of repair and reconstruction, of discarding evil and developing goodness…. In the journey of life, if you want to travel without fear, you must have the ticket of a good conscience.' The most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling… And even more beautiful is, knowing that you are the reason behind it!!!

Fwd: 4 DIFFERENT THOUGHTS BY " MEN "

Thought 1 When we are born, our mothers get the compliments and the flowers. When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity. When we die, our widows get the life insurance. What do women want to be liberated from? Thought 2 The average man's life consists of: Twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going, Forty years of having his wife ask the same question; and at the end, the mourners wondering too. Thought 3 A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, "If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you." The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted, "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you, and you will die." The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him. The man asked. "Who are you?" "I am your guardian angel," the voice answered. "Oh, yeah?" the man asked "And where the hell were you when I got married?" This is the Best !!! Thought 4 Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle to give away to the groom. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed some thing in his hand. Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by the bride. The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something. So he announced "Ladies and Gentlemen today is the luckiest day of my life." Then he raised his hands with what his daughter gave him and continued, "My daughter finally, finally returned my credit card to me." The whole audience including the priest erupted in laughter.......... all except the poor Groom!!

 

GAME OVER

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his Customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a five rupee coin in one hand and two one rupee coins(1+1=2) in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?"

The boy takes the two one rupee coins and leaves. "What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question?
Why did you take two one rupee coins instead of five rupee coin?"

The boy licked his cone and replied, "  Because THE DAY I TAKE THE FIVE RUPEE COIN, THE GAME IS OVER  "  


Moral: When you think the other person is dumb, you are making a fool of yourself.

What is a virtual desktop?

What is a virtual desktop?

1. A virtual desktop is an individual user's interface in a virtualized environment.The virtualized desktop is stored on a remote server rather than locally. 

Desktop virtualization software separates the physical machine from the software and presents an isolated operating system for users.  Desktop virtualization tools include Microsoft Virtual PC, VMware Workstation and Parallels Desktop for Mac.

The benefits of desktop virtualization include:

• Cost savings because resources can be shared and allocated on an as-needed basis.
• More efficient use of resources and energy.
• Improved data integrity because backup is centralized.
• Centralized administration.
• Fewer compatibility issues.

Knowledge workers who use mostly business software applications are good candidates for desktop virtualization. The model is not generally viable for users with high resource demands.  

Breathing Thearphy

 

Breathing Thearphy

The  nose has a left and a right side; we use both to inhale and exhale.
 
Actually they are different;  you would be able to feel the difference.
The  right side represents the sun, left side  represents the moon.
During a headache, try to  close your right nose and use your left nose
to  breathe.
 
In about 5 mins, your headache will be  gone. ?If you feel tired, just
reverse, close  your left nose and breathe through your
right  nose. After a while, you will feel your mind is  refreshed.
 
Right side belongs to 'hot', so  it gets heated up easily, left side
belongs to  'cold'..
 
Most females breathe with their left  noses, so they get "cooled off"
faster.
 
Most of the guys breathe with their right noses, they  get worked up.
 
Do you notice the moment we wake up, which side breathes faster? Left
or right? If left is faster, you will feel tired. So, close your left
nose and use your  right nose for breathing, you will get  refreshed
quickly.
 
This can be taught to kids, but it is more effective when practiced by
adults.
 
My friend used to have bad headaches and was always visiting the
doctor. There was this period when he suffered
headache literally every night, unable to  study. He took painkillers,
did not work , he  decided to try out the breathing therapy here:
closed his right nose and breathed through his  left nose. In less than a
week, his headaches  were gone! He continued the exercise for one
month.
 
This alternative natural therapy without medication is something that
one has to experience. So, why not give it a try? 
 

 

Software Engineer's Daily Routine

8:30AM: wake up
8:45AM: Tough decision; to bath or not.
8:50AM: Have To.
9:15AM: Punch in.
9:20AM: Check Mail.
9:25AM: Check Again just in case...
9:30AM: Since It is already 9:30 wait for tea (9:45AM).
9:45AM: TEA party.
10:00AM: Check Mail.
10:05AM: Check again. Can't believe that no mail has come. Is every body dead or what?
10:20AM: Sudden feeling of loneliness and desperation turn around to look for some body (Any body) to talk to.
10:30AM: Found a guy testing something. Feel real pity for his pathetic, boring and useless existence.
10:40AM: Sudden urge to get some work done and fast. Start looking for the file.(Can't remember it's name)
11:00AM: Boss summons in his office. Bad sign.
11:30AM: How the hell! Am I supposed to remember everything? Why should I be responsible for everything that goes bad?
11:45AM: Try to locate a scapegoat. No body around.
12:00AM: Mood is really bad decided to postpone work till after lunch.
12:30AM: lunch
1:00PM: Lunch over.
1:10PM: Go for a smoke. Can't even smoke in this god forsaken place.
1:35PM: Back from a smoke. It was good. I even did not pay for the cig. The other chap is so foolish.
1:50PM: Mood is good. Decide to go to cool web sites. Real sleazy thoughts.
2:30PM: Feeling real sleepy after such a mammoth mental effort.
2:45PM: Tea Time.
3:00PM: Chat and discuss with colleague on the bad state of the company. Blame everybody for incompetence and laziness
4:00PM: A guy from testing comes for help.(Jerk)
4:11PM: Try to look busy..
4:12PM: He is asking for a technical help.(Real jerk).
4:15PM: After really making him beg for help decide to take a look.
4:50PM: No solution found. Really angry on the guy for getting myself involved.
4:55PM: Suddenly boss is spotted in the neighboring area. Try making as much loud noise as possible with some obscure technical jargon thrown in.
5:00PM: Boss has gone back to his den. Coast is clear.
5:05PM: Blame the problem on RnD.
5:10PM: Check mail. "Yes" a mail has finally arrived.
5:13PM: It's a silly joke and old too. But it felt good.
5:14PM: a quick dash for gate.
5:15PM: Third in punching out.
5:25PM: Reached Room.
5:26PM: TV on. No worth while program.
8:30PM: Still no worth while program. Every body is getting lazy and irresponsible what will happen to this world GOD help us. Curse government and RnD.
8:45PM: Food arrives. Pretty bad and stinking.
8:48PM: Dinner finished.
12:45AM: Today there were really good programs.
1:46AM: Decide to sleep. Tough day ahead.

A different Love letter and a beautiful reply to it.

A different Love letter and a beautiful reply to it.

A teenage college guy sent a love letter (in Q/A format) to his classmate.

My Dearest Reshma,


Please answer the following questionnaire. For Options

(A) 10 marks,
(b) 5marks and
(c) 3 marks.


**********

1) Whenever you enter the class room, your sight always falls on me because:

(a) of love
(b) you couldn't control seeing me
(c) really ... Am I doing it?


**********

2) Whenever professor cracks joke, you laugh and turn and look at me because:

(a) you always like to see me smiling
(b) you are testing whether I like jokes
(c) you are attracted by my smile


**********

3) When you were singing in the class, I entered and immediately you
stopped singing because:

(a) you are so coy to sing before me
(b) my presence influenced you
(c) you feared that whether I'll like your song


**********

4) When you were showing your childhood photo, when I asked for it,
you hide it because:

(a) you felt ashamed
(b) you felt uneasy
(c) you don't know


**********

5) During trekking, myself and my friend gave you hand for lifting you
and you took only my friend's because:

(a) you enjoyed my disappointment
(b) you won't feel leaving my hand after grabbing
(c) you don't know


**********

6) You were waiting yesterday for bus and didn't get into your bus...

(a) you were waiting for me
(b) you were dreaming about me and didn't notice the bus
(c) that bus was crowded


**********

7) You introduced me to your parents when they came to college because:

(a) I am going to be your groom
(b) you just want to know what your parents think about me
(c) just you felt like introducing me to them


**********

8) I told that I like girls wearing roses. Next day, you came with a
rose on your head because:

(a) to fulfill my wish
(b) you like roses
(c) by chance you got a rose


**********

9) On that day, it was my birthday. You too came to temple early at
6:00 A.M because:

(a) you want to pray along with me
(b) you want to meet me before any one could meet on my birthday
(c) you want to wish me at temple because you are spiritual.


**********

If you have scored more than 40, then you are loving me. Don't delay
in expressing it.


If you have scored between 30 and 40, love is budding in your heart
and it's getting ready to bloom. If you have scored less than 30, you
are in confusion whether to love me or not.


Eagerly awaiting your reply..


Love , Aakash


************ *********



Reshma's reply letter was also in Q/A format ........


Aakash ,

Please answer the following Yes/No questionnaire.


**********

1) If somebody sits in the first row, normally people entering the
class, sees them.

(a) Yes (b) No


**********

2) If a girl laughs and looks anyone, is it love?

(a) Yes (b) No


**********

3) While singing, if somebody forgets lines of the songs, will he/she
stop singing or not?

(a) Yes (b) No


**********

4) I was showing to my friends (who are all girls) my childhood photo.

You poked your nose inside..... Right ?


(a) Yes (b) No


**********

5) I avoided to hold your hand during trekking. Couldn't you understand yet?

(a) Yes (b) No


**********

6) Should I not wait for my best friend ( Anjali ) at the bus stand?

(a)Yes (b) No


**********

7) Shouldn't I introduce you to my parents as a friend?

(a) Yes (b) No


**********

8) You have said you also like Lotus, cauliflower, banana's flower. Is it true ?

(a) Yes (b) No


**********

9) Oh was that your birthday. That's why I could see you in temple. I
come daily to Temple . Do you know ?

(a) Yes (b) No


If you have answered "Yes" to any of the question, then I am not
loving you. If you have answered "No", then you don't know the meaning
of Love.


Hope everything is clear to you .

Useful Tip to overcome "No Subject Mails" in Outlook

Very useful precaution, have tried this just now, its working, plz do it in Ur Outlook too, read below….
Forgot to mention subject in mail???

Forgot to mention subject while writing an Official Mail and feel bad later???????

Yes…. It's a concern for all…. A mail without a subject brings a bad impression on us.

To avoid this, just follow the simple steps mentioned below and see the result.



Here are the steps: -
1. Open your Outlook,
2. Press Alt+F11. This opens the Visual Basic Editor and then Press Ctrl+R which in turn open Project-Project 1 (left side)

3. On the Left Pane, one can see "Microsoft Outlook Objects" or "Project1", expand this. Now one can see the "ThisOutLookSession".
4. Double click on "ThisOutLookSession". It will open up a Code Pane on the right hand side.
5. Copy and Paste the following code in the right pane (Code Pane) and save it

Private Sub Application_ItemSend(ByVal Item As Object, Cancel As Boolean)
Dim strSubject As String
strSubject = Item.Subject
If Len(Trim(strSubject)) = 0 Then
Prompt$ = "Subject is Empty. Are you sure you want to send the Mail?"
If MsgBox(Prompt$, vbYesNo + vbQuestion + vbMsgBoxSetForeground, "Check for Subject") = vbNo Then
Cancel = True
End If
End If
End Sub

6. Now whenever u try to send a mail without subject, a pop-up is raised to remind you of the blank subject.

Do u shout??

A saint asked his disciples, 'Why do we shout in anger? Why do people
shout at each other when they are upset?'

Disciples thought for a while, one of them said, 'Because we lose our
calm, we shout for that.'

'But, why to shout when the other person is just next to you?' asked
the saint. 'Isn't it possible to speak to him or her with a soft
voice?
Why do you shout at a person when you're angry?' Disciples gave some
other answers but none satisfied the saint.

Finally he explained, 'When two people are angry at each other, their
hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be
able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will
have to shout to hear each other through that great distance.'

Then the saint asked, 'What happens when two people fall in love? They
don't shout at each other but talk softly, why? Because their hearts
are very close. The distance between them is very small...'
The saint continued, 'When they love each other even more, what happens?
They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other
in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at
each other and that's all. That is how close two people are when they
love each other.'

MORAL: When you argue do not let your hearts get distant, do not say
words that distance each other more, else a day will come when the
distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.

" Silence in lips may avoid many problems...and smile in lips may
solve many problems so always have a silent smile... "

Not Good Enough

One of the biggest obstacles that stops people from achieving their dreams is the feeling that they are not good enough to achieve success.



This feeling of 'not being good enough' often comes from making comparisons with those who have already achieved their goals.

For example, a young dancer watches a principal ballerina and thinks, "I'm not good enough to do that", or an aspiring writer attends a talk presented by a best-selling author and thinks, "I'm not good enough to do that".

Comparing yourself to someone who has already achieved success is a big mistake because you are overlooking one crucial fact, which is:



No one is born an expert.

Every single person who has achieved success in any area has done so by starting at the beginning, developing the skills they needed and practicing those skills until they achieved success.

Sometimes we seem to expect to develop a new skill instantly, but one of the true secrets of success is developing the courage to persevere with a task while you learn how to do it well.

Here's a simple but effective plan for overcoming feelings of inadequacy:

(1) Stop saying "I'm not good enough" and start saying "I might not be good enough yet - but I will be!"

(2) Instead of comparing yourself to experts and feeling discouraged, look at them as an example of what is possible.

(3) Watch the experts in your area and ask yourself, "What skills and characteristics do they have that I need to develop?"

(4) Give yourself permission to be 'less than perfect' while you develop the skills you need.

So don't let the 'I'm not good enough' thought stop you from achieving your dreams. If you need new skills - you CAN develop them. If you need new knowledge - you CAN find it.

Don't be afraid of the space between your dreams and reality. You are good enough - and if you can dream it, you can make it happen.

Baniya Jokes

Baniya: Yeh kela(banana) kaisay diya?
Shopkeeper: 1Rs.
Baniya: 60 Paisa ka deta hai?
S.K: 60 paise mein to sirf chilka milega.
Baniya:Ley 40 paisay, chilka rakh aur kela day de


Baniya on his death time.
My wife, where r u ?
Wife:Yes, I’m here
My sons daughters ru all here?
Yes, Papa
Baniya:To phir brabar wale kamre
ka pankha Q khula hay ??? :D:D:D


Baniya 14th floor se neche gira
Girte waqt usne
apni ghar ki khirki me
apni wife ko roti pakate hue dekha
to chilla k bola
MERI ROTI NAHI PAKANA!


Baniya ne sheikh ko khoon dey k uski jaan bachai.
Sheikh ne usay MERCEDEZ gift kardi.
Sheikh ko phir khoon ki zarorut pari,
Baniya ne phir khoon dia.
Ab k bar Sheikh ne till waly laddu gift kiye,
Baniya:Ghusse se, mercedez kion nahi di?
Sheikh:Munna…!! Ab hamarey ander bhi baniye ka khoon dor raha hay:)



Baniya called a newspaper office and asked: Mera Chacha Mar gaya hai, kya charges hongay?
NewsPaper: Rs.50 per word.
Baniya: Oh bohat ziyada hain, Acha likho "Chacha Guzar Gaye".
Newspaper: Sir! It should be minimum 6 words!
Baniya: Oh ho! Jara sochnay do..... Acha likho........ ......... .
Chacha Guzar Gaye - Maruti for Sale .


Baniya ask to Taxi Driver: CP wale gurudware jayega kya?
Taxi Driver: Han jaon ga.
Baniya ne jaib se lunchbox nikala or kaha:
Wapsi main langar ka khana lete aana.


Baniya ko bhoot charh gaya ,
3 din baad bhoot khud ek ojha k paas gaya aur bola,
Ojha sahab mujhe bahar Nikalo..! Warna me to bhookha hi mar jaon ga


Titanic K Sath Baniya Bhi Doob Raha Tha
Aur Hans Bhi Raha Tha
Dost: Oye Hans Kyun Raha Hai?
Baniya: Shukar Hai Main Ne Return Ticket Nahi Khareeda

Honorable MEN

Honorable MEN



Must Read for Every Man and of course Woman (to understand man)



If a female is reading this article then just realize the value of a

man; and if its a male then feel proud of after reading it!



"One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a

river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared

and asked, "Why are you crying?"





The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed

the axe to make his living.



The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. "Is

this your axe?" the Lord asked.



The woodcutter replied, "No."



The Lord again went down and came up with a silver Axe. "Is this your

axe?" the Lord asked.



Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."



The Lord went down again and came up with an iron Axe. "Is this your

axe?" the Lord asked.



The woodcutter replied, "Yes."

The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes

to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.



Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the

riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord

again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?"



"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"



The Lord went down into the water and came up with AISHWARIYA RAI "Is

this your wife?" the Lord asked.



"Yes," cried the woodcutter.



The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"



The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a

misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to AISHWARIYA RAI , You

would have come up with RANI. Then if I said 'no' to her, you would have

come up with my wife . Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me

all three. Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care

of all three wives, so THAT'S why I said yes to AISHWARIYA RAI."



The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good and

honorable reason, and for the benefit of others.



That's our story, and we're sticking to it! - "WE ARE HONORABLE

MEN!!!!!!"

Key to Happiness

A touching story by a girl.

"When I was a little girl, my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage, and extremely burned toast in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his toast, smile at my mom, and ask me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember Watching him smear butter and jelly on that toast and eat every bite!

When I got Up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad For burning the toast. And I'll never forget what he said: 'Baby, I love burned toast.'

Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if He really liked his toast burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, 'Debbie, your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides-a little burnt toast never hurt anyone!' You know, life is full of imperfect things.....and imperfect people. I'm not the best housekeeper or cook.

What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each other's faults - and choosing to celebrate each other's differences - is the one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting marriage relationship.

And that's my prayer for you today. That you will learn to take the good,the bad, and the ugly parts of your married life and lay them at the feet of GOD. Because in the end, He's the only One who will be able to give you a marriage where burnt toast isn't a deal-breaker! We could extend this to any relationship in fact - as understanding is the base of any relationship, be it a husband-wife or parent-child or friendship!! "





"Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket."

Superman... classic....

Superman was feeling bored after a long break of crime fighting and
wanted to go out and party.

He called Batman to ask if he wanted to go to a club & pick up some
young girls. Batman said Robin was ill & he had to look after him.
A little disappointed, Superman "SMS" Spiderman to see if he
Fancied a few beers but Spiderman said he had a date with Catwoman.

As a last resort, Superman flew over to Wonderwoman's apartment to
see if she was free.

As he landed on her balcony, he saw Wonderwoman naked on the bed
With her legs open and her eyes closed.

Superman thought to himself,

"So exotic, should I or shouldn't I ...wait ....I'm faster than a
speeding bullet! I can be in there out again before she knew what
happened."

So Superman did his super thing in a split second and flies off
happily.

Meanwhile on the bed, Wonderwoman said, "What is going on? Did you
hear anything ...?"
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....

Hollow -Man replied, "No! But....... my A-- hurts like hell

Study this small story, Hope that makes a BIG change in YOU

Professor began his class by holding up a glass with some water in it. He held it up for all to see & asked the students
"How much do you think this glass weighs?"

'50gms!' ..... '100gms!' .....'125gms' ....the students answered.


"I really don't know unless I weigh it," said the professor, "but, my question is:

What would happen if I held it up like this for a few minutes?"

'Nothing' …..the students said.

'Ok what would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?' the professor asked.

'Your arm would begin to ache' said one of the student

"You're right, now what would happen if I held it for a day?"

"Your arm could go numb, you might have severe muscle stress & paralysis & have to go to hospital for sure!"
….. ventured another student & all the students laughed

"Very good.

But during all this, did the weight of the glass change?"
asked the professor.

'No'…. Was the answer.

"Then what caused the arm ache & the muscle stress?"

The students were puzzled.

"What should I do now to come out of pain?" asked professor again.

"Put the glass down!" said one of the students

"Exactly!" said the professor.

Life's problems are something like this.
Hold it for a few minutes in your head & they seem OK.

Think of them for a long time & they begin to ache.
Hold it even longer & they begin to paralyze you. You will not be able to do anything.

It's important to think of the challenges or problems in your life,
But EVEN MORE IMPORTANT is to 'PUT THEM DOWN' at the end of every day before You go to sleep..

That way, you are not stressed, you wake up every day fresh &strong & can handle any issue, any challenge tha t comes your way!


So, when you leave office today,
Remember friend to
'PUT THE GLASS DOWN TODAY! '

No, I am an Engineer.

Once a man went to a Veterinary Doctor and said:


Doctor I have come on vacation for a month so that I can get myself treated fully within this period.

Doctor: I think you should go to the Doctor opposite to my clinic, see that
board.

Man: No, Doctor, I have come to you only

Doctor: But, gentleman I am a Veterinary Doctor. I am an animal specialist. I
do not treat human beings.

Man: I know, Doctor very well and that is why I have come to you only...

Doctor: I can not, because you speak like me, think like me, talk like me which
means you are a human being and not an animal.

Man: I know I am a human but listen to my complaints first:


Doctor: OK. Tell me.

Man:

I sleep like a dog thinking about my work load whole night.

I get up in the morning like a horse

I go to work running like a deer

I work all the day like a donkey

I run around for 11 months like a bull without any holiday.

I wag my tail in front of all my bosses

I play with my children like a monkey if I get time.

Doctor: are you an engineer?

Man: Yes

Doctor: Instead of telling this long history you should have told me
in the beginning itself that you are an engineer. Come man, no one
can treat you better than me.

Key to Happiness

Embracing Imperfection

A touching story by a girl.

"When I was a little girl, my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage, and extremely burned toast in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his toast, smile at my mom, and ask me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember Watching him smear butter and jelly on that toast and eat every bite!

When I got Up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad For burning the toast. And I'll never forget what he said: 'Baby, I love burned toast.'

Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if He really liked his toast burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, 'Debbie, your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides-a little burnt toast never hurt anyone!' You know, life is full of imperfect things.....and imperfect people. I'm not the best housekeeper or cook.

What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each other's faults - and choosing to celebrate each other's differences - is the one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting marriage relationship.

And that's my prayer for you today. That you will learn to take the good,the bad, and the ugly parts of your married life and lay them at the feet of GOD. Because in the end, He's the only One who will be able to give you a marriage where burnt toast isn't a deal-breaker! We could extend this to any relationship in fact - as understanding is the base of any relationship, be it a husband-wife or parent-child or friendship!! "





"Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket."
.

Short Story with a great moral

Good Morning.....

One day a fisherman got up very early in the morning.

There was not enough sunlight to get into the sea.

He saw a pack of stones to pass time.

He started throwing the stone into the sea.

While having the last stone in the hand, the sun came up then he saw that the stone was a diamond.

He felt for his misfortune of throwing all of them into the sea...

Moral of the story:
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Do not get up early in the morning...

General knowledge

There are more than 100 world known personalities on this painting.
If you can name a minimum of 25, you may consider yourself a well-informed person, good luck.

Common Software Engineer...... Too Good

Facts READ THEM

Facts under lined



Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.


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To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.


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The road to success??.. Is always under construction.


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Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.


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In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.


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All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening.


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Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before
you hear them speak.


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Everyone has a scheme of getting rich.. Which never works.


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If at first you don't succeed.. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.


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You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls
down, it will always land on the buttered side.


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Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner.


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42.7% of all statisticsare made on the spot.


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If you have paper, you don't have a pen??. If you have a pen, you
don't have paper?? if you have both, no one calls.


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If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance.


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You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming.


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After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull
in together and the bus which you get in will be crowded than the
other.


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The last person to be fired or quit is responsible for all the errors
until another person is fired or quits.


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Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the
cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker

WHY WOMEN ARE SO SPECIAL

WHY WOMEN ARE SO SPECIAL . . .

Mum and Dad were watching TV when Mum said, "I'm tired, and it's getting late. I think I'll go to bed."

She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's lunches.

Rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the freezer for supper the following evening, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar container, put spoons and bowls on the table and started the coffee pot for brewing the next morning.

She then put some wet clothes in the dryer, put a load of clothes into the washer, ironed a shirt and secured a loose button.

She picked up the game pieces left on the table, put the phone back on the charger and put the telephone book into the drawer.

She watered the plants, emptied a wastebasket and hung up a towel to dry.

She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom.

She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher, counted out some cash for the excursion and pulled a text book out from hiding under the chair.

She signed a birthday card for a friend, addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery store. She put both near her bag.

Mum then washed her face with 3 in 1 cleanser, put on her night solution & age fighting moisturizer, brushed and flossed her teeth and filed her nails.

Dad called out, "I thought you were going to bed."

"I'm on my way," she said.

She put some water into the dog's dish and put the cat outside, then made sure the doors were locked and the patio light was on.

She looked in on each of the kids and turned out their bedside lamps and radios, hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks into the hamper, and had a brief conversation with the one up still doing homework.

In her own room, she set the alarm; laid out clothing for the next day, straightened up the shoe rack.

She added three things to her 6 most important things to do list.

She said her prayers, and visualized the accomplishment of her goals.

About that time, Dad turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular. "I'm going to bed." And he did..... ...without another thought.

Anything extraordinary here?

Wonder why women live longer...?

'CAUSE THEY ARE MADE FOR THE LONG HAUL.......

(and they can't die sooner, they still have things to do!!!!)

Send this to five phenomenal women today...

..........they' ll love you for it!

And Forward this to as many men as you can so that they know why women are so special :) .........!

God's very own special creation! :)

Read n Forward it........Very Helpful

Valuable Piece of information (HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE ).


Let's say its 6.15p m and you're going home (alone of

course), after an unusually hard day on the job.

You're really tired, upset and frustrated.



Suddenly you start experiencing severe pain in your

chest that starts to adiate out into your arm and up

into your jaw. You are only about five miles from the

hospital nearest your home. Unfortunately you don't

know if you'll be able to make it that far. You have

been trained in CPR, but the guy that taught the

course did not tell you how to perform it on yourself.



HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE

Since many people are alone when they suffer a heart

attack, without help,the person whose heart is beating

improperly and who begins to feel faint, has only

about 10 seconds left before losing consciousness.



However,these victims can help themselves by coughing

repeatedly and very vigorously. A deep breath should

be taken before each cough, and the cough must be deep

and prolonged, as when producing sputum from deep

inside the chest.



A breath and a cough must be repeated about every two

seconds without let-up until help arrives, or until

the heart is felt to be beating normally again.



Deep breaths get oxygen into the lungs and coughing

movements squeeze the heart and keep the blood

circulating. The squeezing pressure on the heart also

helps it regain normal rhythm. In this way, heart

attack victims can get to a hospital. Tell as many

other people as possible about this. It could save

their lives!!



A cardiologist says If everyone who gets this mail

sends it to 10 people, you can bet that we'll save at

least one life.

Rather sending jokes, pls contribute by forwarding this mail
which can save a person's life....

Performance not Position

Performance & Position Good one

A Priest dies & is awaiting his turn in line at the Heaven's Gates.

Ahead of him is a guy, fashionably dressed, in dark sun glasses, a loud
shirt, leather jacket & jeans.

God asks him: Please tell me who are you, so that I may know whether to
admit you into the kingdom of Heaven or not?

The guy replies: I am Pandi, Auto driver from Chennai!

God consults his ledger, smiles & says to Pandi: Please take this silken
robe & gold scarf & enter the Kingdom of Heaven...

Now it is the priest's turn. He stands erect and speaks out in a booming
voice: I am Pope's Assistant so & so, Head Priest of the so & so Church
for the last 40 years.

God consults his ledger & says to the Priest: Please take this cotton
robe & enter the Kingdom of Heaven ...

'Just a minute,' says the agonized Priest. 'How is it that a foul
mouthed, rash driving Auto Driver is given a Silken robe & a Golden
scarf and me, a Priest, who's spent his whole life preaching your Name &
goodness has to make do with a Cotton robe?'

'Results my friend, results,' shrugs God.

'While you preached, people SLEPT; but when he drove his Auto, people
PRAYED'

It's PERFORMANCE & not POSITION that ultimately counts.

The best juicers in town are not too far away

L E M O N J U I C E


The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a Rs 10,000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people like weight-lifters, wrestlers, body builders, etc had tried over time, but nobody could do it .

One day this scrawny little man came in, wearing thick glasses and a safari suit, and said in a tiny, squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet." After the
laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man.

But the ! crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and 5-6 drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the Rs 10,000, and asked the little man, "What do you do for a living?

Are you a lumberjack, a weight-lifter, or what?"

"No," replied the man.

"I work as a Project Manager in a Software Company !! "

An Ex-Wife's Revenge

An Ex-Wife's Revenge

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar and a bottle of Chardonnay.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods.

She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out.

Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steamed. Air Fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit.

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad t he smell was, he agreed on a Price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.

She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home....

........including the curtain rods.


I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?????

THE SUCCESS OF MARRIAGE

THE SUCCESS OF MARRIAGE

Once upon a time a married couple celebrated their 25th marriage anniversary. They had become famous in the city for not having a single conflict in their period of 25 years. Local newspaper editors had gathered at the occasion to find out the secret of their well known 'happy going marriage'.

Editor: "Sir. It's amazingly unbelievable. How did you make this possible?"

Husband recalling his old honeymoon days said: "We had been to Simla for honeymoon after marriage. Having selected the horse riding finally, we both started the ride on different horses. My horse was pretty okay but the horse on which my wife was riding seemed to be a crazy one.
On the way ahead, that horse jumped suddenly, making my wife topple over.. Recovering her position from the ground, she patted the horse's back and said "This is your first time". She again climbed the horse and continued with the ride. After a while, it happened again. This time she again kept calm and said "This is your second time" and continued. When the horse dropped her third time, she silently took out the revolver from the purse and shot the horse dead!!
I shouted at my wife: "What did you do you psycho. You killed the poor animal. Are you crazy?"
She gave a silent look and said: "This is your first time!!!"

Husband: "That's it. We are happy ever after."

Questions 4 u, if u can answer

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why do we press harder on a remote

control when we know the batteries

are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on

insufficient funds when they know there

is not enough?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why does someone believe you when you

say there are four billion stars,

but check when you say the paint is wet?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in

the word 'lisp'?

What is the speed of darkness?

Why is it that people say they slept

like a baby when babies wake up

every two hours?

Are there specially reserved parking

spaces for normal people at the

Special Olympics?

If the temperature is zero outside

today and it's going to be twice as

cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

Do married people live longer than

single ones or does it only seem

longer?

How is it that we put man on the moon

before we figured out it would be

a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people pay to go up tall

buildings and then put money in

binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Did you ever stop and wonder...... .

Who was the first person to look at a

cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze

these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'

Who was the first person to say, 'See

that chicken there... I'm gonna

eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'

Why do toasters always have a setting

so high that could burn the toast

to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge

and not in the freezer?

Why do people point to their wrist

when asking for the time, but don't

point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your Obstetrician,

Gynaecologist leave the room when you get

undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while

Pluto remains on all fours? They're

both dogs !

If quizzes are quizzical, what are

tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and

vegetable oil is made from

vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons,

does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle,

Twinkle Little Star have the same

tune?

Stop singing and read on........

Do illiterate people get the full

effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you

blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at

you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out

the

window?

Does pushing the elevator button more

than once make it arrive faster?

Do you ever wonder why you gave me

your e-mail address in the first

place?